The politics I love and hate, wrapped up in a conundrum.

A grown man with a voice that high and hands that small only means one thing. Frankly.

A grown man with a voice that high and hands that small only means one thing. Frankly.

Filling in the blanks on Newty’s Facebook timeline!


Gingrich has already been caught vastly inflating his Twitter following with phony accounts, and now CNN now reports that the campaign’s communications director, Joe DeSantis, has been aggressively making dozens of edits of Gingrich’s Wikipedia page. DeSantis has attempted to scrub or embellish embarrassing information about Gingrich’s marital troubles, House ethics investigation, and $500,000 Tiffany credit line.

One day, when the history of this elections is written in some oh-so-insidery tome by Mark Halperin or whoever, the campaign of Newt Gingrich will go down as the most sustained public masturbation ever seen. Sure, everyone who runs for president does so at least partly out of ego, the hubris to think that one should lead a nation of 300 odd million people, but, agree or disagree, valiant or vile, one thing you could say about most of them is that they did actually place country above self. You see that in the mostly despicable Rick Santorum. And even though he doesn’t have any idea why he believes it, you see it in Mitt Romney, whose campaign is some kind of sociopolitical demonstration of just how much money a thoroughly unlikeable person needs to spend in order to get a nomination.

Not Gingrich, though. Every time he speaks, every idea he utters, it is about the greater glorification of Newt first. If anyone should happen to benefit, well, that’s just a collateral effect. It is about a nation that should only exist in his image. So, in the last couple of weeks, Gingrich has been whipping out his dick and jacking it every chance he can. A moonbase tourist destination that simply can’t be built for any sane reason? Who cares? Pass the moisturizer and break out the Kleenex, ‘cause this cock needs strokin’. It’s what Gingrich does. He goes around blowing his load, saying shit that’s either deranged and grandiose or pissy and cruel, like when he said that he wouldn’t debate Obama with a moderator present. In what world is that gonna happen?

After Herman Cain endorsed Newt Gingrich, they went to Hooters to celebrate with some chicken wings, beer, and lewd ogling, followed up by a joint confession at Our Lady of Low Standards Catholic Church in Miami.

Jackie [Gingrich’s first wife] put him all the way through school. All the way through the PhD…He didn’t work.

The Inner Quest of Newt Gingrich

Gail Sheehy article in Vanity Fair, September 1995

And this lazy asshole wants children to work as janitors

Gingrich actually combines the very worst elements of so many other recent national Republican politicians. He has Nixon’s thirst for vengeance against his political enemies and contempt for the rule of law, Reagan’s ability to connect with “values” voters despite being a divorcee and a moral train wreck, Cheney’s neoconservative belligerence and desire to assert American hegemony throughout the world, George Bush the Lesser’s open contempt for the Constitution of the United States and Palin’s ability to pull the emotional chords of his dimwitted followers and masterfully play the victim in the media. Add it all up and you have the man who most clearly resembles author James Howard Kunster’s “Corn Pone Hitler” for America.

When we have 13,000 people living on the moon, they can petition to become a state.

—Newt Gingrich, pandering to those anti-science, senior citizen teabaggers at the Florida debate. Or, as Jon Stewart pointed out, Newt Wants To Divorce Earth For Younger, Healthier Moon.

Gingrich is like a less likeable, less attractive, less healthy Nixon.

—John Fugelsang

The president interprets the Constitution as president. If the court makes a fundamentally wrong decision, [the] president can in fact ignore the courts.

—Newt Gingrich, who hopes to be the GOP nominee, and is also crazy. (via wilwheaton)

American Solutions [Gingrich’s PAC] spent $6.6 million on private air travel through Moby Dick Airways — a private charter service favored by many Republicans — during its four years of existence, amounting to about 13 percent of the group’s budget.

Newt Gingrich Inc.: How the GOP hopeful went from political flameout to fortune, Washington Post

That’s $1.65 million a year on private air travel for a guy who won the South Carolina primary because the voters loved his trashing of the media and “elitists.”

Over the past four years [1993-97], growth in revenues has consistently outpaced that of gross domestic product (GDP) by 2 to 3 percentage points. Several factors have contributed to that outcome. The tax increases enacted in the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1993 (“OBRA”) were the main causes in 1994 and 1995. Also, the personal and corporate income tax bases grew faster than GDP over the period, especially in 1996 and 1997.

A little economics history lesson, from the September 1997 CBO report on the deficit. I am posting this because OBRA passed with NOT ONE REPUBLICAN VOTE, including Mr. Newt Gingrich, who is now taking credit for reducing the deficit in the 1990s. Suffice it to say that the first surplus in 30 years in 1998 had nothing to do with Gingrich’s tenure in the House. As the article quotes, “legislation passed by the Republican-led Congress of 1995 through 1997 combined to actually worsen the fiscal situation.”


MSNBC and Fox News are both hammering home that out of all the candidates in the GOP primary in South Carolina, Newt Gingrich’s support was the highest among people who said the most important factor in their selection was a candidate who could defeat Barack Obama. Coincidentally, beating Obama…